THE BOOK 'I love Raphael Cushnir!' Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is 'Raphael Cushnir's new book is a practical manual for the heart, a powerful invitation to live with love as the guiding force in all of our relationships: with self, with another, with the world.' Sharon Salzberg, author of Loving Kindness and Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience 'This book can change your life. Beyond self help, it will introduce you to a whole new level of freedom and joy. Raphael's insights and exercises come directly from his own experience. I use them every day - at work, with family and friends, and in the way I see and experience the world.' Josh Baran, author of 365 Nirvana Here and Now 'Raphael Cushnir opens an intelligent, blissful path that any of us can benefit from. I heartily recommend this book to all seekers on the path of spiritual wisdom and love.' Lama Surya Das, author of Awakening the Buddha Within and Awakening the Buddhist Heart 'Cushnir invites the important themes of transformation to be orchestrated into a full symphony of life. The energy, the harmony and the resonance of this book sings the eternal music of the heart.' Don Campbell, author of The Mozart Effect and Music and Miracles 'An enticing invitation to awaken to love in every moment' Tara Bennett-Goleman, author of Emotional Alchemy INTRODUCTION This is a book about love. More books have been written on the subject of love than just about any other. So why one more? The answer lies in a crucial distinction Ð the love we're about to explore is not romantic, erotic, familial or platonic. Instead, it exists prior to and apart from any specific type of expression. This love is a dynamic and primal force. It's the universe's urge for inclusion, for union, for the dissolution of that which separates. Whether subtle or overwhelming, direct or diffuse, its goal is always the same. Love connects. Love, as we experience it, is sublime. It wells up in the heart, radiates, and brings a glow to our entire being. The sensation is so exquisite we chase after it like the scarcest commodity. We do everything in our power to find it, earn it, win it, keep it. Whether we're aware of it or not, this quest underlies a great many of our other pursuits, even when they seem entirely unrelated. Early on, however, we make a fateful and costly decision Ð that we won't allow ourselves to feel love unless it appears in the guise of our desire. When our parents disapprove or abandon us, we shrink from love like it's the actual culprit. When our beloved doesn't meet us in our ardor, suddenly the world seems barren, devoid of love. So, too, with failure, with loss, with all of life's major disappointments. They tap that secret place inside where we fear, or have already come to believe, that the real blame for our misfortune lies with us. We judge ourselves unlucky, unworthy, unlovable. Our overwhelming need for love, ironically, can often blind us to its constant presence. In fact love is here, always, regardless of our circumstance and dependent upon absolutely nothing. Allow me to share an open secret Ð love is waiting for you. Not in the form you may expect, or believe you need, but instead without form at all. It's an aspect of the divine, permeating all of creation, and it never says 'no.' We ask the world of love. In truth, we demand it. But rarely do we stop to consider what love requires of us. Isn't it about time? Before going any further, I'd like to explain how this book came to be. In 1995, after a period of profound grief, I experienced a personal and spiritual transformation. What I learned from that transformation was described five years later in my first book, Unconditional Bliss: Finding Happiness in the Face of Hardship. The book explains a simple process for becoming more present in any moment, especially the most difficult ones, and for breaking through persistent blocks. This process is called Living the Questions, and since introducing it I've been traveling the U.S. non-stop. As I live the questions with people in workshops, retreats, schools, spiritual centers and private homes, I'm always humbled by the courage they display in healing their deepest wounds. In the wake of their self-healing, many of these people are filled with a new appreciation for the very lives they recently resisted. In place of bitterness and frustration, they often feel great love toward everyone and everything, even those who have hurt them the most. When this love fades in the crush of daily life, as is usually the case, not surprisingly they want it back. They want to know how to make this love last, and how to share it with others for the highest good of all. At first, faced with their requests, I felt unqualified to answer. How could I, or anyone for that matter, presume to speak for love? But then a voice called from within Ð Listen to your heart. While this could have been a metaphor, I decided to take it literally. It helped that I was aware of recent scientific research demonstrating that the heart has its own intelligence, its own way of communicating. Encouraged by that awareness I listened, waited, and prayed for the ability to tune in. What came to me, therefore, was really not my own. Yet neither was it 'channeled' or arrived at in any esoteric way. I simply sat, and wrote, and used whatever skills I could muster to translate my heart's wisdom into language. Along the way I came to understand that there is only one heart, love's heart, and that all of us are joined within it. Our task is less to learn than to remember. So I offer this book in that spirit, as much reader as author, hoping that it stirs you as it does me, and stands as a reminder of the unity we are. What Love Wants As the new century dawns, the world grows ever smaller and more interconnected. People of all races, classes and continents are affected. Such globalization brings many benefits, but also immense friction. There are fewer resources to consume and far greater competition for them. Ideologies clash. Epidemics rage. Terrorism looms. Both our friends and foes live right among us, and it's often difficult to tell them apart. Isolation, once a reasonable choice for both nations and individuals, has now become a quaint fantasy. Today we find as much fear as hope, as much sorrow as joy, and as much danger as opportunity. It would be a grave mistake to view this reality as solely political. No new policy or military campaign can ever provide lasting security. As long as we believe that we're fundamentally separate from one another, matters can only get worse. The battle for the 21st Century, therefore, is personal. It will be won or lost within each of us, a single heart at a time. Scores of people already understand this. They've begun to take stock of themselves in the deepest way. This may or may not involve a religion, an institution, or an affiliation of any kind. But it always seeks to unravel the strictures of one's past, illuminate shadows, and unleash the power of a fully authentic life. This is what love wants. But it's only the beginning. To live in accord with love is to set your heart on fire. In the crucible of such an inferno all convention burns away. What's left is an entirely new kind of existence, one full of passion, presence, and infinite possibility. The Invitations that follow are sparks to ignite your blaze. The Illuminations that accompany them are winds to fan your flames. As you open yourself to this searing light, love will inevitably engulf you. You won't just understand it, or feel it, but will come to embody love in everything you say and do. This loving embodiment is as practical as it is poetic. While it will certainly bring a new luster to moments of intimacy, it will also change the way you meet stress and adversity. Love will lead the way when you may have come to expect it least Ð in times of anxiety, depression, loneliness, illness, pain and conflict. The Path of a Lifetime The triumph of love, though all encompassing, does not transpire at once. Each Invitation requires significant patience and practice. After reading them all to get the big picture, you may want to go back to the beginning and delve into them one by one. Especially at first, many of the shifts in perspective they entail can seem quite difficult. They will require a candid reassessment of your deepest beliefs and most ingrained behaviors. If any of these beliefs and behaviors are barring you from the your greatest access to love, you'll be instructed how to transform them step by step. These steps can often create 'growing pains,' or brief periods of frustration and disorientation. It might take a full month or more before each Invitation feels natural and fully your own. It might help to discuss the Invitations with friends or in a structured group. Even then, however, many of the most significant results will arrive subtly and gradually. In fact, embraced together, the Seven Invitations are the spiritual path of an entire lifetime. Keeping this long view in mind will greatly enhance your journey. Otherwise you may go too fast, try too hard, or demand more of yourself than necessary. Any of these approaches will create tension, and self-opposition, which you'll soon see only stand in love's way. The Invitations are each designed to strike a delicate balance, meeting you exactly where you are without losing sight of all you're meant to become. Accepting them in your own time will make you stronger, wiser, and kinder. It will liberate your life by calling forth your very best. Are you ready?